Anyway, some people I have been to lunch with before and some people I hadn't. It was an interesting social experiment to say the least. There were about 9 of us, all with different personalities of course. But it was through the course of the lunch (i.e. getting there, waiting for a table, ordering drinks, choosing food, actually ordering, getting the food, and eating the food, then paying that I realized something...you can tell a lot about a person based on their complete approach to going out to eat!!! Forget years of personality tests, quick internet questionnaires, and the "Multiple Dimensions" touted in E-Harmony's online dating pitch. Just go out to lunch with someone and you will quickly realize who they are as a person and much more importantly HOW they are as a person.
Let's breakdown the lunch to demonstrate how personalities shine through:
Getting there - First it is "Where are we going?" which has multiple levels of complication to it. Some people like one place over another, some had a bad experience at one place, or were scarred in their childhood by a bad swiss cheese sandwich and the restaurant everyone else wants to go to specializes in swiss cheese sandwiches and this person has a complete aversion to swiss cheese sandwiches (much like THIS WOMAN who is deathly afraid of pickles...). So the debate rages on for hours, well okay minutes about where to go until everyone decides...you can identify the problem children from this interaction right away.
Then there is the issue of who is driving and how to get there. Most people have been there before but a select few still don't know where it is OR how to get there still. Similar to Darwin's law of survival of the fittest, you begin to see the more socially, or directionally challenged individuals of the bunch and the people who "take charge" when a decision needs to be made. Forget it if everyone can fit into 2 cars....SCREW THAT WE ARE TAKING THREE CARS! Because I don't want to ride with so and so, and so and so doesn't know how to get there, or "they don't know the short cut"...it becomes a competition and if a dinosaur was chasing us as part of getting there you would see quickly whom the dinosaur would be snacking on while we have chips and salsa at "On the border"...
Getting Seated - Finally, when everyone gets there, of course not at the same time (see reference above) we are a fairly large group so one person has to take charge and communicate with the Host Staff on how many people we have and be the "general", if you will, of the group. This is usually the strongest personality in the group but occasionally it can be the social butterfly of the group that gets along with everyone, because in the end they are the one that put it together and are the best at dealing diplomatically with the restaurant staff even during tense moments. Then you start to decipher whom in the group doesn't like not knowing what is going on. They start to question "Did you tell them we were here? Did you tell them how many of us there are? How long did they say? Are they going to put two tables together?" etc. These are also the detailed oriented people of the bunch. At this point the high maintenance people start to chime in "Look there are open tables right there, why can't they seat us there? Oh look, they could just put those two tables together, why don't they just do that? I mean why do we have to wait 5 minutes!? I could do it myself right now!" Then they guise their efforts as "helping" the restaurant when they say "I am going to put those tables together for them, that will help them out since they are too busy to seat us immediately!", ahhh personalities are shining through and we aren't even at the table yet!
Ordering - This is where you really start to understand the individual personalities at work. Have you ever seen "When Harry Met Sally"? Chances are you have, and throughout the movie are rendered uncomfortable every time Sally orders food detailing how she wants it specifically which is reminiscent of a drill instructor barking orders at a teenager or young college kid earning minimum wage who is swallowing their complete dignity by complying with the barking orders being given when they are not a servant or a slave, but an honest person trying to make an honest living (not that I am interjecting any personal experience in here...wink wink nudge nudge!).
Forget the person in the group that is incapable of making a decision not because there are too many choices (like the menu at Cheesecake Factory!), but incapable because their personality is such that making decisions is simply not possible on any level. It gets to the point where everyone else has ordered and they are sitting there flipping the pages back and forth, back and forth...while apologizing to the server for not knowing what they want. No one can help this person make a decision regarding food, and much less other things as well, and they show that even when backed into a corner, while most primal human instinct would be to bark back and/or fight, this personality would cower and whimper like an inured dog.
Then the high maintenance personality starts to chime in again. They take the Sally notion referenced above to a whole different level that involves talking down and berating the server before the process is initiated..."Does this come with XXX on it?....Oh well I DON"T WANT THAT ON THERE....DO you UNDERSTAND THAT!!...Chicken Quesedillia? Does that have chicken in it? Well I don't want chickent...what it comes with cheese? Well just give me the tortilla and a side of rice and beans!" Wow, talk about getting off on the wrong foot with someone!
As an aside, this is how I knew Kirsten was the one for me. On our first date we both ordered a pizza but took the time to choose every element of the pizza and she never once exhibited any of the personality traits mentioned above ;)
Getting the Food - There isn't a whole lot terribly complicated about this one, but for sure this is where things go awry. A plate is plopped down onto the table by a poor guy who is carrying two other huge plates that weigh about 4 pounds each and the first response is "THAT IS NOT MINE!" in the rudest tone and intonation imaginable...I think someone needs to lay off the bitter sauce they put on their eggs every morning...it is starting to ooze out onto others! Then there is the "This was supposed to come with such and such...we should get that for free since they didn't bring it!" I mean really...do you go back to the grocery store and yell at the cashier because you forgot to get basil for the dinner you were cooking and demand you get it for free? People forget things...they are serving 100 other people in that restaurant and you aren't the only person that is deserving attention in here, although you may be demanding it with your attitude!
Then the litany of complaints start to flow like pouring a pitcher of water all over our table (figuratively, not literally!). "Is this chicken done? It looks pink? How is that dish? Is it as good as my homemade lasagna? I make the best lasagna? This places salsa isn't as good as the racially biased "Don Pablo's" there salsa is SOOOOO Much better!" (another person scraping out the entire contents of the Taco's they ordered because they don't eat tomatoes or lettuce....) "These XXX are too greasy....This has no flavor....My salad is cold!...My soup is too hot!!!" And it goes on and on and on until it devolves into the comparison of one restaurant to another, one persons cooking, and then complaints about everything from politics to other co workers not present at the lunch to defend themselves, or cower in the corner whimpering if they are incapable of making the easiest of decisions... ;)
Paying the Bill - We all know the individuals who end up shorting paying the group bill, for whatever reason, to the point where each of us, at least the honest ones, put in extra money anticipating that someone is going to short his or her portion of the check. I wonder if it is because they aren't satisfied with the quality of the food/service or what, but I know they knowingly don't put in enough money. My question is HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF WHEN YOU DO IT EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT TO EAT WITH OTHERS!?? It is incomprehensible to me. You know the type of person, the one who says "TWO DOLLARS FOR A SODA!!!", hey, I am all for saving a couple dollars here and there, but when you get to the level of publicly proclaiming your disdain with the price of soda at the establishment you are eating at...all eyes are on you to be the one to not put enough money in to cover your share ya cheapskate!
Then there are the generous individuals who offer to pay for the whole thing...WOW NICE! Except if it is on the company's tab...well that is a benefit of working for a private company I guess ;) All in all it balances out in the end with the cheapies, the generous ones, and the honest ones who put in their fair share, plus tax and tip. You would figure though as adults we would all cover our own amounts instead of not paying up what we owe rather than making others pay more to make up the difference, but then again like I said...this is a social experiment and it truly lets you see an individual's personality.
So that is it...the next time you are going to go to lunch with a group of co workers stop and examine each individual's reaction to things and their general personality throughout the whole experience, it is fascinating, at least to me, and reveals a heck of a lot about your co workers and the type of people they are.
1 comment:
Wow - you knew on the first date?! You never told me that before. ;)
Post a Comment