Two Louis (Pronounced Lou eee): December 2008

This more like a novel than a RR but here goes (skip to headings of interest if you don't want the details...) So print it out...sit back with a hot chocolate and a roaring fire and enjoy the book I have written!

The Season Leading up to IMAZ

From the moment Kirsten and I signed up for this race we had promised each other this would be our last Ironman. For me it would be my last triathlon. As such we both wanted to go out with a bang. We weren’t sure why we signed up for it in the first place since we remember training this late in the season presented it’s own challenges with the cold weather and short days, but there was something that drew us to Ironman AZ…that wouldn’t reveal itself until the late stages of the race and even until I finished this race report. The race was cathartic in this regard, but this race report much more so.

Our year started out in December of 2007 when we brought our bikes out to Tucson to spend Christmas with my parents. We stayed for 10 days and rode 8 of those 10 days 40-80 miles a day in awesome terrain, climbing major hills including Mt. Lemmon (9k ft. elevation) and some other smaller climbs like Gate’s Pass that had astounding beauty and challenging terrain. That was the official kick off to our season but we promised each other that we would work out when we wanted and not follow a structured training plan until late July early August. It was nice since we could do what we wanted when we wanted. The kickoff of to the season was also a prep for our week long excursion following the Tour of California where we rode 7 days for a total of 350 miles, over 30k feet of climbing, and 4-6 hours of riding a day. It was a great boost to our fitness and gave us a great off season base to start with.

It was during this time that we also changed our eating habits and started really concentrating on eating more fruits and vegetables, making home cooked meals with left overs for the week and just generally moderating what we were eating and how much. This made the single biggest difference in my training out of ANYTHING I did in the offseason or even during the season. This single, seemingly simple, change resulted in faster speeds on the bike/run with less effort for the same pace. The change was extremely laborious as my will power was tested constantly and it took almost a year to lose 10-12 pounds naturally and keep it off and not feel run down. It was a delicate balance but one that I was able to perfect over the year.

I was coming off a late season running injury in 2007/2008 and made up for it with a lot of swimming and biking. We went to the CU swims once a week and I swam at work two times a week to try to improve my swimming and started working running into the program slowly but surely. We got married in May in the Berkshires and made it a quasi training weekend as well. We rode for a couple days in a row in some challenging terrain and with some great friends. Kirsten’s favorite memory of our wedding weekend was the ride with friends the day before the wedding. The scenery, comradre, and happiness we both felt put it at the forefront of our memories this past year. We started riding century rides out to Sugarloaf in late April and were riding out to Sugarloaf 2-3 times a month as time allowed (~100 miles). We did a couple organized centuries including the Mountain Mama Century which was hugely challenging but extremely fun as well.

Kirsten went to Sudan for two weeks right in the middle of our peak training in late August/early September and was worried about her fitness when she came back. During that time my training really came together and I started to formulate goals based on my fitness and performance in my workouts. I did the Indian Head Century that was a moderately hilly 103 miles and knocked it out in 4:50 with an almost 21mph average. That gave my confidence a boost for a 5:30 bike at IMAZ. I also did one of our 2.5 hour runs and got 19 miles in for about 7:30-7:40 minute miles. It was the kind of confidence I needed going into the race and I stuck with what I was doing for the remainder of training. It was during this period that my swimming came around and I started to actually enjoy it.

Much of our training was done is smaller groups with friends on Capitol Hill and our greatest training partner TJ Collins. This small group provided us the motivation and support that we needed to get us through training when we started focused workouts. TJ, Kip, Laurel, Phil, Eric, and sometimes Joe would ride with us out to Sugarloaf just for the heck of it, well Kip and Joe would anyway, and we would coordinate religiously to workout together. This was exactly what we needed since the DC Tri Club no longer provided the outlet and resources that we needed to help us achieve our goals. The workouts were more geared towards beginners and intermediate athletes, which is great since that is what the club was founded on, but again didn’t meet our needs as our fitness improved. The group we worked out with provided our greatest friends in DC and tremendous athletes that continue to impress and push us on a daily basis. Anyway, moving on…

The Month Leading into IMAZ

Kirsten had returned from Sudan and got back into training full tilt. She bounced back extremely fast and although she questioned herself, again I knew she would shatter expectations and I had faith in her abilities. But more on that later ;) The month leading up to the race provided its own set of challenges that made finishing the race not the real goal, but making it to the start line healthy and ready to race. I was in Charleston, WV at our annual Manager’s Conference for my last long run. After I finished an irritated hip (that bothered me early in the season but subsided early on) manifested itself. The hip pain was something I had dealt with but it hadn’t bothered me in months even with a high run volume. But this time it was worse and resulted in my IT band and tightening up and subsequently pulling my knee where the IT band connects. The pain was so great that I would awake at night and not be able to sleep. I took some time off of running and it subsided, I stretched religiously, and had Kirsten massage my IT band often. It seemed to help but even with 40 minute runs it would become excruciating POST run. I figured that at least it didn’t hurt when I ran which mattered most for Ironman and I had only three weeks left with low running volume. It was a minor blow to my confidence but as time went on and it started to subside my confidence started to return. It didn’t seem to bother me two weeks out from the race (thanks to the decrease in run volume no less!).

Then the Thursday we were due to drop off the bikes to Tri Bike Transport (and the week before we left) the most significant challenge presented itself…I woke up at 3 am that morning profusely sweating and disoriented…you would think it was an Ironman nightmare…but it was far worse than any Ironman nightmare I could have possibly had. After coming too, I realized that my right lower back was in extreme pain…KIDNEY STONE! I went into the bathroom feeling the urge and ended up on the floor writhing in pain. I finally was able to wake up Kirsten and told her she needed to take me to the hospital. As she was getting ready the pain subsided and I decided to just hydrate and see if the pain came back. After 48 hours, 192 oz of water a day, and a mind that was running rampant about if I could still do IM, the pain subsided and never returned…I dodged a bullet and was breathing a sigh of relief. (I passed it completely about 4 days after the race)

With that past, the only challenge left was finding the motivation to ride the trainer 3 times a week (since every weekend was torrential downpour and 40 degrees with 30 degrees and 30mph winds the next day) and to get to the pool in addition to running in the dark/cold. The workouts were short, but the lack of daylight and cold weather only motivated Kirsten and I to sleep in and do the workouts at lunch or in the late evenings. We did get through it and finally were on our way the Thursday before the race.

The Days Leading up to the Race

Kirsten and I got into Phoenix around 3pm and raced over to the IM Village just in time to pick up our packets (good thing too since the line on Friday was wrapped around the park). We headed to the hotel to check in, get a quick nap in, and then head out for a short run. The weather was perfect and it was extremely dry. We didn’t sweat at all and felt comfortable, confident, and ready for race day. Kirsten and I headed over to “The District” which is a huge outdoor mall off McClintock Ave., which is on the bike route. We needed to go to Target and pick up some supplies for race week/day. The mall was impressive as it had every restaurant imaginable and even had a Road Runner Sports. We headed to bed early to get up and hit the swim practice and check out the IM village more thoroughly the next morning.

We slept like a pair of rocks and woke up around 6:30 to visit the complimentary hotel breakfast. Every Triathlete was milling around the breakfast and downing the Sausage and Egg Biscuits or trying to be healthy by having yogurt and fruit (but we knew better). We packed up and headed over to the race site for the practice swim around 7:30 and were on site by 7:40, the hotel was close! As we were getting ready to swim the announcer blared out that the water temperature was 63 degrees…Kirsten and I only had long john wetsuits (no sleeves) and thought we might be okay, but I was deluding myself as I would soon find out. We headed down the stairs and then after dipping our toes in the water and falsely claiming that it wasn’t that bad, jumped in. The shock was HORRIBLE! It was worse than Columbia Triathlon 2007 where the water temp resulted in many people dropping out of the swim and severe hyperventilating on my part.

We started swimming immediately and my arms were freezing cold. I wasn’t wearing a swim cap of any kind and knew from the start that was a bad idea! We decided to swim out to the first or second yellow buoy (about ½ mile out). About halfway to the buoy my biceps started freezing up and I couldn’t feel my arms anymore. It didn’t help that I wasn’t wearing a swim cap at all, but we turned around and I was having a tough time keeping my focus since I was severely cold. Kirsten hauled butt back to the stairs as I tried to keep up. Being that cold and dodging the oncoming swimmers proved challenging for me mentally and I just wanted out of the water! We finally made it to the stairs and after I got out I was shivering uncontrollably…it wasn’t a good sign for race day.

At that point I debated renting a full suit so that I wouldn’t have to worry about being cold on race day. In an Ironman you want everything to be dumb proof and not have to worry about anything on race day…especially about being cold for over an hour. After I warmed up and changed we headed over to Tri bike Transport to pick up our bikes. I took mine over to Race Day Wheels so they could change out the wheels but they weren’t open quite yet. So we milled around the race expo and checked out Inside Out Sports, bought some new tires for Kirsten’s bike and changed them out while we waited. After we finally picked up my bike we headed over to “The District” again to go to Road Runner Sports.

Over the past couple of months Kirsten had been complaining that her Heart Rate Monitor wasn’t working right, well Friday morning during the swim it went south for the last time. Her HRM filled completely with water and died…better now than race day I guess! So we headed over to Road Runner Sports to buy her a new HRM. While we were there I saw the Garmin 405 that I have been eyeing since early May. I asked Kirsten “should I get it?” and she said sure…that was all I needed! I had brought my Polar to use during the race (for which I would have to change out HRM from the bike to the run anyway since my power meter didn’t read my Polar HR Strap) so I decided I would try it out the day before the race. If it worked okay then I would use it for the race.

Don’t try anything new on race day? Well, I even bought a new set of socks. I had only brought a thicker pair of socks thinking the weather would be cooler. These were the only socks I had that didn’t give me pinky blisters with my Newtons. Along with the Garmin I decided to try them out the day before the race to see if they would work, but more on that later.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing and getting things organized for our race bags. Kirsten took one of many naps and we headed out to dinner at Gordon Birsch and then over to Sports Authority to look for a neoprene swim cap that might help keep me warmer on the swim. Again it was early to bed as Saturday was going to be another long day.

The Day Before the Race

We were up early to test out my quasi swim cap and eat like we planned to race morning. The cap seemed to help out a bit but I was still cold and shivering when we got out. We only swam for about 10 minutes so didn’t get a good feel if the cap would help in the long run, but it did help. I figured that come race day the adrenaline would keep me going so decided against buying/renting a wetsuit. Kirsten and I went back to the car and changed to go for a quick 40 minute ride. The ride was uneventful as we had already seen much of the course but it felt good to be on the tri bike again.

After getting the bikes ready to drop off in transition I noticed that the front wheel was out of true and the back wheel had a couple slashes in it that might have the potential to pinch the tube underneath and create some problems. I took it back to Race Day Wheels and they were super cool about it saying “It is your wheel, if you want us to change the tire…just say so.” I highly recommend that if you are thinking of renting race wheels you use them. They change out your rims for you and even change the cassette for you. I left them bike and we set off on a quick 20 min transition run, in my new socks of course. We were clocking off 7:30’s and my HR was in the mid 130’s, fully zone 1. It was a good confidence builder going into the race and I felt ready. The socks luckily didn’t bother me at all and I figured a little blister ban powder would help out on race day anyway. The Garmin worked flawlessly as well! We changed and went to go drop off our bags and bikes in transition. We ran into Liz Lewis and Mike and talked about how cold the water was and could tell each of us was nervous in our own way.

Weirdly enough the whole check in process was way less stressful than IMFL 06. Even packing up the bags was less stressful and it didn’t seem like we had that much stuff in our transition bags. We definitely weren’t over thinking things this time around and maybe because we were more experienced and knew that the less we had, the less we had to think about. Needless to say, things were as smooth as butter and we were putting our energy towards visualizing the race rather than wasting energy worrying about the pre race logistics.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing at the hotel. We ordered takeout from Bucca Di Beppo about 10 minutes away and had dinner in the hotel room. We didn’t want to deal with the chaos of a restaurant on a Saturday night and I personally wanted to conserve as much mental energy as I could since it was going to be a long day. We were in bed by 9 and it took some time to fall asleep as my mind raced…we both woke up every hour and before we knew it, it was race morning…

Race Day

It was up at 4:30am to start our day off with some Ensure and Oatmeal. The goal was about 800-1000 calories pre race spaced out enough to ensure (no pun intended) it was all fully absorbed by race start. My brother in law (who mans the Tri Sports aid station on the run every year) offered to take us down to transition since the hotel shuttle was apparently required a sign up list, which they neglected to tell us, and the only available times were 430am or 530am, which were too early or too late for us. He dropped us off at the corner of Mill Ave. and Rio Salado (the bike exit) which was perfect.

We parted ways at the “secret” bathrooms in the center of the park. These are the ones that no one really knows about and doesn’t use until later in the morning. They are a permanent part of the park and didn’t have a line yet so we took advantage. It was at this point I started playing my iPod to get my head in the game. The swim was weighing heavy on my mind since the water was so cold but I kept visualizing the run as the key to the day.

I got into transition, pumped up my tires, loaded up my bike, and made some last minute checks before wandering off to drop off my special needs and some last minute items in my transition bags. Kirsten and I met up again at the transition bag area and we went around to the front of the change tents and used the bathrooms one last time. We stayed near the change tent for a while just spending the last few moments of calm together before the started. We probably wouldn’t see each other the rest of the day so we just sat there quietly in our own thoughts, but together. We suddenly saw my family and made our way over towards the special needs area to have a quiet moment with them. We had done pretty good this time around and seemed to avoid the stress/crowds associated with the race. We watched the pros go off in the dark and then a volunteer came over shortly afterwards and told us they were going to close transition and we needed to get a move on. We had never put on our wetsuits so quickly!

The Swim

Kirsten and I made our way through the mass of people scaling down the near vertical concrete wall into the water. Some people were walking along the incline towards the start trying to delay the inevitable freezing water as much as possible. I said some final words of encouragement to Kirsten and jumped in not even feeling how cold it was. I wasn’t nervous, I wasn’t scared, I was calm and collective and anxious to get it all over with!

I started swimming immediately towards the front right side of the crowd and was about ¼ of the way from the start line. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want to be too far forward or too far to the right so I stuck myself right in the middle of the front pack. A couple of guys asked me what side we needed to keep the swim buoys on and some other random questions and I wondered if they did the practice swims at all or were just making nervous chatter…before I knew it…the cannon blasted and we were off.

It was complete chaos from the get go, the first line of swimmers hadn’t moved up yet and everyone started swimming at once creating a back up of swimmers slamming into each other and trying to swim over everyone. In Florida I didn’t have as much contact but couldn’t put my head down in the water without a foot or a body in the way. This time around it was people just swimming over me and vice versa. One person clocked me in the face pretty good, but there was no damage and just kept trying to swim. I stopped every so often to sight out some open water which started to happen after about 500 yards or so. Once the mass of swimmers evened out about 500 yards in I very rarely bumped into anyone and had a clear line about 50-100 yards in front that I could just swim with no contact. It was like that pretty much to the turnaround and I was thankful since the first 500 yards was so chaotic.

The chaos of the start and cold water got me in the habit of breathing to either the right or the left for long stretches. And so it was that I would breathe to one side, switching every 5 minutes or so; bilateral breathing wasn’t an option. Once we hit the bridge on the far end (McClintock Blvd.) the turnaround was another three to four hundred yards to go. This was a bit of a bummer since the map made it seem like it was right after the bridge, but it wasn’t…that stretch seemed long and arduous but I kept pushing to get to the halfway point and give myself a mental break. I hit the turnaround and that is when things started to unravel.

The entire way back I was pretty much alone. I had no watch, no HRM, and no idea where I was time or heart rate wise. I was okay with that, but the journey back seemed significantly longer than the way out. By this point I was absolutely freezing. The sun still wasn’t very high in the sky and was a non issue for sighting on the way out but also provided no warmth either. The air temperature was probably in the high 50’s and the water temp was still a good old 63 degrees. Shortly after the turnaround I stopped to go to the bathroom and as I went vertically in the water, my legs began to shake uncontrollably. It was then that I realized the swim back was going to be more about survival than time goals.

I kept veering off course since my stroke started to suffer from the shivering. Then…it happened…LEG CRAMP! My Hamstrings, both of them, seized up It was more painful than anything I had experienced in training (even my IT band issue). I stretched it out but they still felt like they were going to cramp up again at any moment. So it went for the rest of the swim…every 5 minutes or so I would have wicked leg cramps and had to stop and stretch them out. I started wondering what business I had being out there and how much energy I was wasting from shivering that I would need later in the day. I also started believing that my goals were slipping away even before the race began.

I finally made it to the Mill Ave. Bridge and just put my head down and swam it in for the last 200 yards or so. I was still shivering uncontrollably and knew that I definitely should have rented/bought a long sleeve wetsuit. I would have been much better off and wouldn’t have suffered on the swim like I did.

Transition 1

As I made my way up the stairs from the lake I knew I was in pretty bad shape. I was still shivering uncontrollably and was completely out of it. I was just following the stream of people in front of me as best I could. I had some trouble on the stairs leading out of the water and took a moment to gather myself. A volunteer helped pull me up and then unzipped my wetsuit for me. I then made my way with the rest of the crowd towards the wetsuit strippers and laid down the mats to have them rip off the wetsuit ASAP! Unfortunately I was so out of it that I forgot to take down the top of my wetsuit. I realized this only after I laid down and three wetsuit strippers said “GOTTA TAKE YOUR TOP DOWN!!” I made my way to my transition bag row and was still shivering uncontrollably the whole way. I could barely run I was so cold. I was just clutching my wetsuit like it was a warm blanket and trying to make it through.

I got my bag, ran into the tent and immediately felt the warmth from everyone in the tent. It was warm, but not warm enough. I found a seat and sat down trying to gather my thoughts as to what I needed to do next. I was so out of it a volunteer came up and asked me what I needed and if I needed help…I politely replied I was fine and didn’t need anything (besides I was too cold to think at that point). I couldn’t even buckle my helmet since my hands were shaking so badly!!! I took my time and finally made my way out of the tent in what seemed like and eternity. At the tent exit another volunteer started to slather sunblock on me and noticed how cold I was. She said “I promise you will warm up on the bike…are you okay?” I said thanks and was on my way to the bike racks. A volunteer picked my bike out for me handed it off such good service at the IM! As I left transition I noticed the clock said 1:41 and some odd seconds… thought to myself that I must have swam a 1:30 easy and was in disbelief that my swim was that bad, but not really all that surprised given the challenges so far. Turns out after the race I found out the clock was running based on what time the pros went off…so it was 10 minutes fast!

The Bike

The bike out was a pretty narrow area and volunteers kept yelling to keep it slow until we got out on the main road. I took my time getting on my bike and everyone around me seemed to be pretty careful. It was a good thing too since I was still completely out of it and shivering uncontrollably. Luckily I was able to keep control of the bike even with my arms shaking a pair of world championship salsa dancers. I was miserable but glad that the swim was over and now I could warm up, but how long would it take? I was wearing dry arm coolers to warm up on the way out. The day before I tried arm warmers, but ended up taking them off 3 miles into the bike. I was still cold, shivering, and my body was extremely tense from being so cold.

I was on my hoods for the first 15 miles or so due to the congestion of the course but also noticed that my hamstrings and lower back were tight from being so tense. My body had expended a TON of energy trying to stay warm during the swim and was working overtime now to try and warm up. Not a good way to start an Ironman since I was going to need all the energy I could muster on the marathon. Once I finally made it out onto the long straight parts of the course and could get in the aero position I realized how bad it really was.

Immediately after going aero my lower back was in excruciating pain and my hamstrings were screaming at me. I sat up and it helped somewhat but that didn’t loosen them up completely. Every now and then I would have to stand up and pedal. This helped out immensely but once I went back down in the aero position the pain would start right back up. I tried stretching, flexing, and everything I could think of to try and relieve the tightness that was causing so much pain! Nothing was working. And so it went all the way out to the turn around, down in the aero, almost immediately up on the hoods, then standing up for minutes at a time….back into the aero for a little bit then back into the routine, sit, stand, sit, stand…I felt like I was at a Catholic wedding out on the Bee Line Highway in Arizona. The one good thing that was with each cycle I was able to stay in the aero position longer.

I saw Kirsten coming back from the turnaround and it confirmed my suspicions that she had beaten me out of the swim. She was a good 10 minutes or so ahead of me and it was going to take some time to catch up to her with that kind of a lead. By the turn around I was finally starting to get warm and my body was finally starting to loosen up, unfortunately it was mile 28 or so…a long way into the bike already. I was following my nutrition plan pretty well and I was well hydrated since I had to go to the bathroom twice during the first loop. After the turnaround I was clocking 30mph sustained at times and it was feeling pretty easy. Most of the flats on the way back you could cruise at 23-25mph whereas the way out was 17-18mph with the wind in your face. On the way back into town I was loving the choice of the disk back wheel and 808 front wheel. It was the fastest choice on the course as I started to fly by people that passed me earlier with 808 front and back wheels or other aero combinations.

Everything was starting to come together. I was slightly ahead of my goal pace of 20.3 mph for a 5:30 bike. Then my whole race fell apart in an instant…I was heading back into town making a right hand turn when my front wheel started sliding….WHILE I WAS GOING 20MPH!! I tried to recover but it kept sliding one way and then the other…then it was too late….BLAM!!! right into the ground in the middle of the turn at 20mph…I layed there stunned for at least a minute or two not knowing what to do or what had just happened. A volunteer ran over, as did a Highway Patrolman managing the course. They immediately asked if I was okay and if I needed medical. I must admit I didn’t really hear them as I was in a haze still trying to figure out what the hell happened and what I was supposed to do. The patrolman started calling medical since I didn’t really answer either of them. I slowly got up and started to assess the damage.

My shifters were scraped up pretty bad, my right hand was bleeding from a bunch of scrapes, and my rear derailleur was pretty scratched up. I didn’t understand how that happened when I came to rest on my left side but maybe that is why I was a little out of it! I started to shift the gears up and down to make sure they were still working. Everything seemed good to go so I finally answered “I am good and am going to continue…” Why? I had no idea since I just wanted to quit at that point. My day was already throwing me some challenges that could crush dreams and end my Ironman journey pretty easily. I got on the bike and started to pedal away but something didn’t feel right. After about 20 feet I realized what was wrong…MY FRONT TIRE WAS FLAT!!

Great, I had lost 5 minutes already due to the crash! I hopped off, took of the wheel and started to inspect the tire. As I examined the tire I saw the problem…I pulled out a thorn about half and inch long from in between the sidewall and the top of the tire…THAT is why I crashed in the turn. The thorn obviously went into the tire while I was in the turn, the tire went flat, and I lost all traction thus crashing. The volunteer came up to me again asking if I was okay and I asked him to hold my bike while I changed the flat. I went as fast as I could go but the valve extender on the 808 was glued to the tube and took some time to get off. I finally got everything back in place and asked the volunteer to take care of the old tube and CO2 for me, which he gladly accepted.

I was wondering if I should just call it a day at that point. I was in a terrible, terrible place mentally after all that had happened. I also knew from my previous IM that it only gets worse…so I had a choice to make…roll into transition and call it a day, or trudge on hoping things would get better. I lost 10 minutes to that fiasco and with my swim knew that my goals had slipped away. I did a lot of thinking and a lot of self loathing on the way back on the first loop. I made the turnaround, heard my family yelling at me, waved at them with my bloody hand and hoped they would notice it and send me some sympathy vibes. It was a pity party and I was the only guest…

I started the second loop and just zoned out going fully into auto mode. Drink, eat, pee, ride, repeat…that is what I was doing and it was pretty dumb proof. I was going out in the small chain ring and returning in the big chain ring since the course was suited for this strategy and it kept me in check on the ride out. I was feeling good and nothing eventful happened on the second loop. I hit the turnaround and enjoyed the ride back, continuing to pass people along the way and hadn’t been passed in awhile. I hit the special needs at about mile 60 and stopped quickly to grab the peanut butter crackers and second bottle of Infinit. I had been fine with my gel flask until that point and wanted to use the crackers as an extra boost in addition to the gel and Infinit. I had debated putting one or two packages of the crackers in my bag and ended up deciding on two. This would prove to be a life saver, more on that later. I thanked the volunteer, gave her some trash and was on my way. The stop was quick and with purpose, as the previous parts of my race should have been. I trudged on but with a positive attitude this go around.

I continued to pass people and then at about mile 67 or so the pros, on their 3rd loop, started to pass me. They were chatting it up with each other and one guy even passed me on the right (scaring the crap out of me in the process). It was interesting to see that they were talking to each other and being extremely friendly. Before I knew it, I had hit the turnaround again for the end of the 2nd lap…and the beginning of the 3rd and final one.

I was staying consistent and was right on target for my goal mph, but I kept adding 10 minutes to my ride time knowing that I lost at least that with the crash flat. I knew I wasn’t going to hit a 5:30 but thought it “might” be possible if I had a faster 3rd loop. I saw Kirsten going out on her 3rd loop when I was coming back but she was still easily 10 minutes ahead of me and I knew catching her on the bike, especially after the crash wasn’t possible. It would have to wait until the run…

I hadn’t seen much drafting on the course, which was a great change from IMFL in 2006. I heard about some of the front packs of the bike drafting but really didn’t see much of that. I was constantly passing people and was rarely passed (aside from the crash). On the way out I saw one guy fully latched onto the wheel in front of him. I started passing both of them and looked at him then gave him a hand jesture of “MOVE BACK” . He didn’t respond and just stared at me so I just shook my head as I took off.

I decided the 3rd loop was where I could do some damage and where all that early season training would pay off. I stayed in the big chain ring for the trip out this lap. I was consistently hitting 20-21mph on the way out and wondered if the wind had shifted. My power numbers had slowly been dropping as the day went on so I was bit confused. It was hard not to trust the numbers but from training I was skeptical anyway, more on that later. My hydration plan was continuing to work as I was taking a water bottle at ever other aid station and finishing one every other aid station. I was going to the bathroom about twice on each loop and taking a couple salt tabs each lap to ensure I was keeping the water I needed. I hadn’t taken a sip of the second bottle of Infinit since I picked it up and also hadn’t taken a gel shot since the halfway point of the 2nd lap. I took a sip of the Infinit and almost gagged…my stomach didn’t react to kindly either.

Once I hit the final turnaround I took a gel shot and my stomach almost revolted. Both the Infinit and the gel sounded disgusting to me and stopped working completely. Time for plan B!! I started feeling low on energy around mile 88 and decided I needed to take something in. I took the peanut butter crackers out and chomped on them. If you have ever tried to eat peanut butter crackers while riding 22mph in the aero position it is pretty challenging. I would take two crackers at a time and ended up with a doughy dry mass of peanut butter and cracker that took a lot of patience to not only chew, but swallow. To finish the package of 6 crackers probably took 5 minutes! Once I finished eating I felt like every ounce of strength was suddenly sapped from my legs.

I had been ignoring my power meter until that point and noticed that I was putting out less power but going the same speed. While I trained with power during the season, as the year went on I started to doubt the numbers and swore off the Ergomo. According to the numbers I was getting weaker on each ride throughout the year but was getting faster. It made no sense so when race day came around I had an “idea” of what numbers to follow, but went based on feel and pretty much ignored the numbers. I knew what I was capable of and targeted my goals based on that. My approach was proven by my 2nd and 3rd bike splits, which I’ll get to later in the final thoughts ;)

I slowed down hoping it would pass but it didn’t. I ended up pulling over to the side, getting off the bike and stretching out really quick. I hopped right back on and felt fine, it was weird! Mile 90 passed and I was feeling great, I kept telling myself that the roughly 25 century rides with 40-60 mile rides the following day had really paid off as I was passing people that were looking pretty bad and definitely had gone out too hard. My only concern was that I couldn’t take any Infinit and even though I tried, my stomach wasn’t having any of it. I was craving the race course Gatorade for some reason. At the last aid station I tossed the Infinit and grabbed the Orange Endurance Formula and it was SO GOOD WHEN IT HIT THE LIPS!!

It was exactly what I needed. I took it with a salt tab for good measure. I was feeling good rolling into town and felt like I was rocking it. The rest of the way back I had a great soundtrack of songs going through my head. I rolled into transition taking my time in the narrow alleyway and handed my bike off to a volunteer. My computer said 5:30 but I knew it was closer to 5:40 due to the crash. I had a slight degree of satisfaction knowing that my goal time would have been achieved sans crash/flat.

I ran into T2 with purpose and glad to have overcome a rough start to the race. A volunteer had my bag ready to go and I rushed into the tent with the Gatorade from my bike still in my hand. I was till craving it and wanted to make sure I finished it; I needed it! I sat down in the change tent and a volunteer was right there to help me. He emptied out my bag and started handing me things and loading my bag up with my other gear. I didn’t let him touch my bike shoes/socks as they were rancid and insisted I handle them. I got everything on and moved outside to get some sun block and ask where the Medical tent was. My hand had been bothering me a little and I wondered if I had fractured it in the crash. Since I was lightly grasping the aero bars most of the ride the dull pain didn’t manifest until I was off the bike.

I had two volunteers slathering me with sun block front and back and was well taken care of. My neck was stinging slighty and I thought I was sunburned from the ride. When the volunteer touched my neck with the sunblock I screamed like a little girl…YAAAAHHHHHH!!!! She apologized profusely and I told her it wasn’t her fault my neck was just stinging for some reason. After that it didn’t bother me and ended up being just some minor chaffing from the swim. I sauntered over to the med tent to get checked out and was met with the most rude woman I had ever expected in an IM Med Tent.

I walked up and asked if they could help. There was no one in the tent at the time and all the personnel in the tent were engaged in casual conversation. The woman closest to me acted like I was the biggest inconvenience and asked what I wanted. I showed her my bloody hand and she asked what I wanted her to do…ummmm help me WASH IT OUT! She says she can’t do anything for me. I then I tell her that I crashed and my hand hurt and was wondering if I broke it. She replied very rudely “We can’t do anything for that here so….” At that moment one of the other people listening jumps in and starts asking all sorts of questions. He finally surmises that “I think you are fine but if it swells after you finish and still hurts then I would see someone about it”….thanks…that is ALL I wanted…geesh the lady was SO RUDE! I ran out onto the course through the corrals and the mass of spectators for the final leg of my journey…

The Run

The run goes along “Tempe Town Lake” and is pretty flat aside from a few bridges and two minor hills. It starts out along a concrete path parallel to the river and passes the Tempe Arts Center. The views are pretty nice for the desert in the middle of a city. I was flying along feeling pretty good and glad that the day was starting to come back to me. My Garmin was showing a pace around 7:30mm with my HR in the mid to high 130’s. I was feeling good but knew it was going to get tough. I tried to down the pace so I wouldn’t burn myself out too early. I adjusted my race belt a couple times on the way out only to realize that I still had the gel flask from the bike in my jersey pocket! At least it wasn’t bouncing around, but I ditched it at the first water stop at mile 1.5 or so.

I was feeling strong and passing people already. I passed the first timing mat (~3.5 miles) clocking off 7:55mm, slightly faster than goal pace. In training I had routinely achieved 7:30mm during my 2.5 hour runs. My confidence going into the race was based on knowing that the run would be my strength. The way the day started I was a bit skeptical if I could hold it together mentally since when the rough stuff hits I might have used up all my reserves in the early stages of the race. I hadn’t taken any nutrition at this point but was stuffing my jersey with sponges at every aid station and taking Gatorade/water at every aid station. If I was feeling a bit hot I could just press on the sponges and get a shot of cold water. The temps weren’t all that bad and the dry air helped it feel cooler than it was. The sponges were working well though since even with no shade and the blaring sun I wasn’t feeling hot at all. I kept to the plan to take in water/Gatorade and coke at every other aid station. Things were going well and I was feeling good until about mile 5 or so. That’s when things started turning for the worse.

I wasn’t really eating anything up until this point, but still had a weird feeling in my stomach the first part of the run. Around mile 5 I started to feel kind of low on energy and a little funky intestinally. I took a shot of gel from and almost vomited. Just like my experience on the bike the gel I had trained with wasn’t working for me. I started getting bad intestinal cramps as well and was visiting every porto pottie to try and resolve the issue. I ended up walking a ton from mile 6 until mile 10.5 or so as the cramps came and went. I was still peeing so I knew my hydration plan was working but unfortunately my nutrition plan and body were requiring something completely different. On the positive side the new socks I was wearing were working perfectly. I wasn’t even coming close to getting a blister even with soaking wet shoes from dumping water over my head.

I knew it was going to get rough, but not at mile 5!! I tried to take in some coke at a couple aid stations but that only exacerbated the problem. I hit my brother in law and sister’s aid station at about mile 6 and stopped to give my parents the news about my bike crash and show them the damage. My parents seemed unconcerned as my mom ushered my on my way with a “Oh that is terrible honey…now get going!!” She knows me and knew that I was looking for excuses but refused to acknowledge it and ushered me back into the race. Smart move mom!! And so it went from mile 7 until mile 10 or so. I was walking a lot and stopping at every aid station with no resolution to the intestinal cramps and lack of energy. I knew I needed something more than coke/Gatorade since I hadn’t taken in anything since the peanut butter crackers on the bike.

At mile 8 I forced myself to take a gel down (after I had ditched my gel flask since it was making me nauseous). I grabbed a Power Gel from a volunteer and gulped it down without a thought. That is until I realized that the Strawberry/Banana flavor was HORRID. I almost gagged but grabbed some water to get rid of that awful taste. I trudged through the transition area trying to make it look like I was feeling good, but knowing better. I ran by an apparent Newton rep since she said “Looking good Chad…LIKE THEM NEWTONS!”. She had said this to me as I came out of transition as well and I thought to myself “If she says that again on the beginning of the third lap…I might tell her to say something different!”

I passed the Tempe Arts Center again with about 10 minutes of running and 5 minutes of walking in a cycle. I passed one athlete a couple times before he said something to me. He commented that it looked as if it was going to be a yo-yo contest between he and I. I responded in kind that it probably was going to happen more often that I would like. I stopped to walk a short time later and he said “see!” as he passed me again. I then started running again and caught up to him again. He then commented that “Hey you may be having trouble but you still have a smile on your face!” I responded “Believe me, there will be many times today where I will definitely not!” It was a good distraction and I was starting to feel better after the gel awhile back, but the intestinal cramps continued.

At about mile 9/10 I pulled off to the side and hunched over in pain. Just then a golf cart with a couple volunteers was passing by and stopped to see if I was okay. The conversation went something like this:

Volunteer – You okay?

Me – Yeah, bloated, cramping, and it isn’t going anywhere…

Volunteer – Well…if you are farting then you know things are moving along…

Me – Oh yeah…..(I proceed to finally pass some major gas…and immediately feel better..)

Volunteer – All right…there you go…get going!

Me – All right….(I proceeded to run and felt a TON better..)

Volunteer (after I caught up to them again) – HE FAKED IT….HE WAS FAKING INTESTINAL CRAMPS!!!

Me – Is that a four minute penalty?

It was about ½ a mile to the next aid station and I stopped off in the porto john again and was able to release some more built up pressure. It was at that point I started feeling amazingly good and passed the timing mat again. My average pace had went from 7:55 to about 9:50 or so according to my watch. I began thinking that it was amazing that most people hit the marathon wall at about mile 18 but here I was hitting it at miles 7-11. It wasn’t looking good for things to get any better, at least I thought so. It was then that I started telling myself that Kirsten was going to beat me. I knew I was a faster runner from all our training together, but not fast enough to erase a 10-15 minute lead. I was probably 30-40 seconds faster per mile and that was if I was running strong. With all the hiccups throughout the day and the “wall” looming at mile 18…there was no way I was going to catch her. Especially with they day she was having I knew she would be running strong.

I started telling myself not the concentrate on the negative events surrounding my day but rather concentrate on how awesome a day she was having and what a tremendous athlete, wife, and person she was. I didn’t need any convincing of those things though, just a reminder by verbalizing it in my head. I thought of the things that I would say to her when I saw her. All the positive support I would shower her with. I knew my goals were way out of reach and made a conscious decision to use her positive experience as a celebration of “our” accomplishment. I was not the slightest bit bitter, angry, or resentful about my day and was proud of her. I knew that it just wasn’t my day and I was doing the best I could with the day that was given to me. This mental distraction and acceptance of the day proved to be exactly what I needed.

Once I started over the Mill Ave. Bridge (after the steep but short hill) things started to come together finally. The intestinal cramps were gone and I started trying to take in as much nutrition as I could to make up the deficit. I looked for gel with caffeine at every stop. The Latte Powergels were pretty good and went down better than the Strawberry/Banana for sure. I came through the transition chute after the bridge like a rocket and the crowds definitely provided a boost. I passed some people I was bouncing back and forth with for some time and dropped them for good through this section. I could tell they had pushed too hard either on the bike or through the first lap since they couldn’t answer the slight acceleration I had through the chute. I also noticed that my average pace was dropping from it’s high of 9:50 and was now in the 9:20 range.

I took a gel at the next two aid stations and continued to battle with running/walking as mentally I wasn’t fully engaged in what I was doing and had established a bad habit on the first lap. I did the best I could and trudged on. As I crossed the McClintock bridge I saw a “We Are Tri Partisan” shirt and realized it was Becky. I tapped her on the back and said “How’s it going!” She just kind of looked at me like a stranger for a couple seconds…I then casually pulled up my bib to show her my name and she yelled out “OH I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE YOU!” She said she was doing great and that she had 7 hours to complete the marathon and the worst was over. She was so worried about the bike but now the worst was over. She asked how I was doing and I told her about the crash etc. and she said “Well you are out here running now and are okay…” I thought to myself “She is right!”…and I was feeling better than the first lap for sure. I said bye to her and took off settling into my pace again.

The next few miles flew by as I struggled with the run walk run walk and wondered why the hell I did this to myself when it wasn’t even fun. The bad thoughts were just as prevalent as the good ones at this point and I struggled to keep it positive since the day started out so horribly. When I was running I actually felt good and my GPS was showing the numbers I had seen in training. If the day had gone differently I would have hit my goals easily but that is Ironman. I reached my brother in law and sister’s aid station again and ducked into the porto pottie as a precaution. Once I exited, my brother in law and sister started running with me through the aid station, yelling at me that I was a rock star. My sister told me that Kirsten was only 5 minutes ahead and losing ground. I looked back and her and in an extreme moment of weakness and frustration said “F#$% TRIATHLON!!!” The people around me almost stopped in their tracks and looked at me in shock. I was in shock as well I since I didn’t even plan to say that. It was pure emotion at that point, unmasked by the rawness of Ironman and the negative energy I was shoving deep inside all day. At that moment it had spilled over. In an ironic turn of events, that release was just what I needed. I started to feel really good and running longer stints at 7:30mm while still in my target HR zones.

I stretched out my calves a couple of times after the aid station since “twinges” in my calves were telling me cramping was close at hand. I stretched them out and then popped a salt tab to help out. Once back on the south side of the lake the twinges were gone. I was feeling good and clocking off the miles. I was at about mile 16-17 and the “wall” was coming up. I tried to remember how I was feeling and relate it to my training runs when I felt this good, I would need this over the next couple of miles I thought. I hit the chaos of the transition area for the third and final time before the finish and got a huge boost from the crowd. I was running at sub 7:30’s and my legs were feeling extremely strong. I felt like I had a good tempo and routine going and everything was coming together finally.

It was at that point that I saw Kirsten just a short distance up ahead. I could tell from her running gait and the cute blue running shorts that I like so much. Her form looked good but I was coming up on her pretty quickly. I debated saying something cute and loving to her but the only thing I could muster was “True Love coming up behind you”. But that sounded pretty lame, even to my tired mind, so I just placed my hand on her back and she immediately knew it was me.

She expressed immediate concern for my accident and asked how I was doing. I told her I was feeling pretty good and I immediately changed the subject to her and how awesome she was doing. She was pretty salty all over and looked like she was ready for it to be over. We talked about the bike and how well she was doing and I told her about some of the challenges I had earlier. Just after the transition area where the crowds thinned out she said she was going to walk for a little bit and that I could go on ahead. I told her I would walk with her as well, my goals long gone and just happy to finally see her and be able to talk to her. I offered her a salt tab, which she reluctantly took, since her shorts were white with salt and her face was covered in it. I wanted to help her get through the rough parts but we both knew although we were on the course together, our races were playing out differently. We knew that was the case from the start, but didn’t know how the script was going to be written this day. Right after we passed the Tempe Arts Center, for the final time, I told her I was going to start running again. We walked together in total for about 5 minutes or so. It was great to finally see her out there and get a chance to talk with her since I missed her! I took off and settled into my pace again and only had about 7 miles left to go!

Uh oh, wasn’t I supposed to hit the wall? That is what Kirsten was hitting when I saw her, so wasn’t I supposed to as well? Maybe because of all the porto pottie stops and walking I had reserves left? Who knew… I was feeling great and not going to question it. I continued to walk the aid stations to ensure I got plenty of fluids and nutrition since this is when I needed it the most. I passed the timing mat and continued to pass people even with the occasional walk breaks. By now everyone was off the bike so it was hard to distinguish what lap everyone was on. All I knew is that based on how I was feeling and how I was passing people I began to wonder what I could have done if the day had been kinder to me…should of would of…could of…oh well…I was doing great with what I had. I wasn’t taking splits but kept looking at my average pace on my Garmin. After the 2nd run segment it just kept going down and down, which I knew was good, now it was in the 9:15mm range and I knew I was moving along pretty well.

Miles 20-24 were a real blur since I was just cruising along on autopilot. I remember the sun going down suddenly as I was coming upon the hill on Curry road, the last hill that was graded. I got midway up and decided to just walk for the sake of it. It was getting pretty dark and it was a death march of people up the hill, I don’t think one person was running it. I descended into the aid station where my sister and brother in law were but they were no where to be seen. It was about the same point after that aid station that the calf twinges started up again. Maybe it was the downhill leading into it that aggravated them but I found it odd it happened at the same spot! A couple of times I was stretching out my calves another athlete said “Every time you stop to have a beer I pass you, then you pass me when you finish!” I replied “I can’t deny what I want most right now!” and took off. I stretched the calves out a couple more times and realized that I only had about 2.2 miles left! I decided that I wouldn’t stop at any aid station from that point on since I was feeling really good and didn’t need any fluid/nutrition for the run into the finish. Once up onto the McClintock Bridge I stretched out my calves one final time and wondered how far behind me Kirsten was. I had a feeling she wasn’t that far behind (maybe 10-15 minutes) since I couldn’t have put that much time into her in 7 miles.

I made it down onto the dirt trail along the lake and stopped one last time to stretch everything out since my legs were starting to get tight and tired. I remember thinking how great my legs felt compared to Florida and wondered if it was the Newton’s or the varying terrain of the course versus the pancake run of IMFL. I had about a mile and a half left and just let it rip. I was running sub 7:15’s and as the crowd grew more dense I heard a spectator yell out “CHAD YOU DIDN’T LEAVE ENOUGH OUT ON THE COURSE!!” I knew they were lying…I mean I left blood and flesh on the bike course! It brought me back to the idea of what I could have done had it been my day, but tried not to dwell on it. I was on complete cruise control and was passing people left and right. I finally got to the branch off to the finish chute and remember there not being many people ahead or behind me and felt bad for those going out on their 2nd or 3rd loop; it was going to be a long night for them. There was a woman about 100 yards ahead of me but I came up on her quickly and passed her before the left into the finishing chute.

The Finish

I remember running up the finishing chute and being flanked by spectators in what seemed like a stadium filled with people. I high fived any hand that was stretched out, but it felt bitter sweet. I could only remember the swim and bike and how negative I was about it and how I never wanted to do this again. But strangely I was also extremely lucid at the very same moment. It was a complex feeling that I still don’t fully comprehend, even after IMFL. I slowed down to let the guy in front bask in his accomplishment and cross the finish line. I then checked behind me to see if anyone was coming up on me…it was all clear. I raised my hands in the air and crossed the finish line, not even looking at the time above me, nor caring what it said. The whole day I went unaware of my race time and frankly it didn’t matter since the whole day was a huge challenge.

If you saw the NBC Broadcast of Kona 2005 when Faris Al Sultan won, you will remember the shot of him crossing the finish line. The program editors removed all sound from the shot except the sound of the wind whit a flag whipping in the background. The moment I crossed the finish line was much like that…everything went silent and I was totally free from thought. Maybe it was because I was thinking so much all day and now I didn’t have to, either that or I didn’t know what to think…in retrospect it was more the latter than the former.

As a catcher came to escort me to the exit area neither of us said much for the first 10 feet or so…then he asked how I was…I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want the medal they were about to give me. I didn’t care about the prestige of the Ironman, I didn’t care about the distance I had just covered, I didn’t care about any of the times I had, and I didn’t need a medal to remind or reward me for my accomplishments that day…the demons I had faced, the conditions on the swim, the challenges, the revolt of my body were reminder enough of what I had accomplished. I didn’t need that medal to remind me or “show off” what I had done. The fact that I had overcome and never quit, even though I wanted too many times, and that I pressed on was enough. Additionally, the knowledge that even on my worst day of the year I had bested my previous Ironman Time was a great feeling. This was all I needed but was too complicated to explain. So I took the medal without comment.

I waited with my family for Kirsten and heard her name about 15 minutes after I crossed the line. Once I waded through the crowd and saw her I noticed her catcher was yelling for medical, even though she was telling him she was fine. As soon as she saw me he let her go and ran back to the finish line. We looked at each other and didn’t need to say anything...we knew…we embraced and kissed each other and gave each other a look like “you did awesome today”…it was finally over and we gave it all we had.

Final Thoughts

About three quarters of the way through this year of training, Kirsten and I swore off Ironman, and I swore off Triathlon period. The training was a lot and although we didn’t use a coach and didn’t use a training plan we had the experience and knowledge of what it took to get the job done and knew what we needed to do to take our training/racing to the next level with no guidance at all. We had fun most of the year (other than the last 3 months when you HAVE to do workouts) and broke all training protocols previous plans and coaches had espoused.

The swim - My swim came far short of what I expected and knew I was capable of achieving, but still was faster than IMFL. I can only say that in the days leading up to the race if you feel like you need something to put your mind at ease with regards to ANY part of the race…DO IT. I needed that full sleeve wetsuit and should have listened to my initial feelings knowing the water temps and how it affected me in those practice swims. My swim fitness was the best it had been in 4 years since I began “swimming” and I knew I was capable of a 1:15 easily. The time I lost to leg cramps and shivering was worth the hassle of renting/buying a new wetsuit not to mention the comfort factor.

The bike - I trained heavily with a power meter last year and actually got slower on the bike and run than I was the previous year. I took issue with this even though the coach I was using said differently. The past year I continued to use it and did one or two “tests” to establish my threshold. Every time I followed the power meter it proved ineffective and at the end of our late season century rides I would be going harder and faster than the beginning of the rides, but it showed lower average and sustained periods of power. All the data showed I was getting weaker as the season progressed, yet I was increasing my average speeds so I just stopped following power protocols and used it more as a “oh that is nice to know”. Come race day I pretty much ignored my power meter. I tried to use it as a limiter on the first loop, but it became completely irrelevant since I couldn’t go aero. Additionally, the power meter showed an overall decrease in power on each loop (which should have slowed my bike splits precipitously). My splits proved that not only was the power meter bogus (thanks Ergomo), but all the centuries I did, all the bonking, all the pain, and all the self guided pacing on those rides resulted in a tremendous ability to pace myself by feel. Most people take the bike out too hard and slow over each loop, but I was able to use my feel for pacing to come away with even splits on the bike. This is a rarity in Ironman racing. Aside from loosing 10 minutes to the crash/flat on the first loop, my 2nd and 3rd bike loops were almost identical in effort:

FIRST BIKE SEGMENT 37 mi. (3:29:20) 18.81 mph

SECOND BIKE SEGMENT 37 mi. (5:19:07) 20.22 mph

FINAL BIKE SEGMENT 38 mi. (7:11:58) 20.20 mph

TOTAL BIKE 112 mi. (5:40:39) 19.73 mph

The Run - I went through a lot of mental barriers at IMAZ and was perplexed as to why my 1st loop on the bike and the 1st loop of the run were the hardest/slowest throughout the entire race and why I was able to negative split every loop there after. I couldn’t predict the intestinal cramps and did the best I could have with what I had on the run. Being able to come back and finish strong turned out to be more important that any goal that I had going into the race. Seeing my times drop on the run after so many rough patches provided a level of satisfaction that I don’t think running a sub 3:45 marathon could. In then end I don’t think I would have done anything differently on the run training or nutrition wise.

FIRST RUN SEGMENT 3.5 mi. (7:45:08) 7:51/mile

SECOND RUN SEGMENT 8.6 mi. (9:11:20) 10:01/mile

THIRD RUN SEGMENT 8.3 mi. (10:28:04) 9:14/mile

RUN FINISH 5.9 mi. (11:19:50) 8:46/mile

TOTAL RUN 26.2 mi. (4:02:11) 9:14/mile

Overall - Once I saw my times/splits from the race I started to realize how my training and fitness truly prepared me for the day. In the end I passed over 600 people on the bike and almost 300 people on the run. I take solace in this but also started to think that given how strong I finished that maybe those spectators were right…maybe I didn’t leave enough on the course…could it have been possible?

It definitely got me thinking my retirement may be a bit premature, but as a good friend told me in the days after the race…all that training for just a roll of the dice? We are all searching for that perfect race, PR, Faster split, or improvement in overall placing. That is what drives most of us to competition and keeps the fire burning. It motivates us to continue training. But Ironman is such a different animal…the never ending quest for these things involves so much sacrifice, so much time, so much money that you have to wonder why we do it. Is it for the glory? The bragging rights? The PR? The recognition? Or rather is it the self satisfaction of facing your worst fears or your worst personality traits and looking at them directly when you are feeling your worst and saying “No…I ‘choose’ to not let them define me this moment, this day.” You “choose” to confront these negative parts of yourself head on, unafraid of the consequences and know that you are bigger than they are and that you will succeed, give it your all, and leave everything out there. Fear is not who you are…you are who you want to be and Ironman shows you the worst parts of yourself but allows you to bring out the best. This is a necessity if you are going to succeed in finishing. If you are afraid…finishing is not a certainty.

These are just my own thoughts and ideas to makes sense of it all. I feel like I had more to give, but have some more soul searching to do to fully understand why I do this and if I want to do another. I swore it off in training, out on the course, and even moments before hitting the finish line. Yet I have a strange urge to do another one although the reasons why are still unclear to me. Is it for the PR, the glory, the bragging rights? The potential for facing failure yet pushing through it to show myself I can succeed at all costs? I don’t have the answer and only time will tell. Although I fell extremely short of my goals, I do feel like I accomplished so much more than times can show or are indicative of…and maybe that is the way it is supposed to be. You aren’t sure why, but each go around you learn more about yourself, your friends, and those you love because you begin to understand not only what you are capable of in the face of adversity, how you define yourself and subsequently “who” you are. That is what this all means for me I am sure of. I still have a lot more to figure out. But maybe that is where doing another one provides another road to turn on in the journey. All I do know is that no matter what I have said or will say, it is all worth it. For now, we deserve some much needed rest…

Two Louis (Pronounced Lou eee)

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Twice is nice

Sunday, December 21, 2008

To run or not to run

Monday, December 8, 2008

Enough's not enough

Friday, December 5, 2008

Chad's IMAZ Race Report - A Tale of Adversity and Perseverance

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